Thursday, 24 September 2015

10 Lies About Silver Fox Relationships

Greetings peaceful ones!

So I'm gonna do kind of a different post today. I was looking around on the old "world wide" and ran into some articles on what they call "May-December" relationships. Ones like mine and Gabe's, you dig? Like where one partner is way older than the other. And most of them were downers. All negative stuff... I just can't dig it, man! It totally made me sick to my stomach. So what I'm gonna do here is make a list of all the bad stuff that people say about our kind of relationships, and explain why it's bogus!

Lie #1 She's only in it for the money
Umm, yeah. If I'm only in it for the bread then why do we drive a beat-up truck and live in a tiny, drafty house? Gabe and I love our simple life. We both make pretty much the same amount of moolah, and we split it between us. Here's the skinny... we don't care. Rich cats man... all they care about it themselves. Gotta look perfect, act perfect, get everything perfect... nothing's ever good enough! Yeah our crib is small and the furniture was someone else's first, but it's groovy cause it's OURS. You dig? We chose the stuff, we put posters up and painted and made it our little chunk of heaven. And the beat-up truck? It gets us where we're cruising and we don't notice the rust when we're laying in the bed watching the stars.

Lie #2 He just wants s*x.
This one's raunchy, but here's the deal. Gabe and I are comfortable with each other... we shower together, give each other massages, go around the house "natural", but we've never jumped each others' bones or got laid or whatever name you wanna put on it. It just isn't our bag, man. There's so much more to a relationship then that. From the day we started going around together, Gabe always said affection was the top word and I was with him 100%. Holding hands, cuddles, backrubs, all that jazz. We don't want kids, we just wanna adore each other and have our cozy life together.

Lie #3 He wants a "trophy."
Okay, Gabe's looking over my shoulder now and laughing at me. If you listen to him rap, you'd think I was a goddess. Gee whiz! Anyways, yeah, don't anybody think that I'm Gabe's "second;" I'm his first, and he's my first, and we're both totally fine with that. He says to tell you beautiful folks that he's not interesting in parading around a gorgeous chick on his arm, he just wants pure lovin'.

Lie #4 We're afraid of committing to each other.
We're together for life. Period. We'd die without each other. Nope, not bein' over-dramatic... just pure simple truth. We never really lived until we met each other.

Lie #5 He's boring/never wants to go out/whatever.
We're both "in" people. We don't party because we don't like parties. Curling up together with a bag of popcorn, going for a stroll together, playing music, taking turns reading a book to each other, enjoying a hot bath, creating art together, even taking naps together... that's our bag, you dig? Like we keep saying, pure and simple.

Lie #6 She's looking for a father-figure to replace the one she never had.
Flake off man! I mean, I got no complaints about my old man. Sure he's over religious and he don't talk to me because he thinks I'm "shacked up", but he's still my old man and I got no interest in replacing him. Besides, Gabe sure ain't a father figure. I'll lay it to you straight, we joke about me being his mother. Not that he's a ditz, just that I like taking care of him. "You take your vitamins man?" "Lemme grab you another soda." "You tired? You want a back rub? You've been working too hard, sit down before you pass out." He picks on me about it but I know he loves it. Sometimes it's nice to not always be the one taking care of everything.

Lie #7 He's a pervert.
Go back and look at Lie #2 again will ya?

Lie #8 You don't think about the consequences of the age gap.
We do. Believe me, we do. We rap about it for hours sometimes. You've never really had your heart broke until you've seen the guy you love more than life crying because he won't always be there to take care of you. I try telling him that that's not the case... I could die in a car accident or get cancer or something and go first, you never know. He feels down sometimes because he imagines himself rotting in a old folks' home while I'm out living life... and my reply is always the same. "I'm gonna bath ya, change your diapers, crawl up in the hospital bed with ya when the nurses aren't looking, and I'm gonna sit in your lap and you're gonna ride me around in your wheelchair and everyone's gonna look at us and say, 'Gosh, they're sure in love!'"

Lie #8 you don't have the same peer groups.
That one's easy man. We don't have peer groups, period. I was always a loner who never fit in with kids my own age cause I acted thirty years older, and he was the awkward guy that was too shy to hang out with people. We have a few buddies that we met through music festivals and stuff, but no one close. We're everything to each other, off in our own little world.

Lie #9 He's probably done this before with other girls.
Back off. I don't let anyone walk over my man and accuse him of being a lying, cheating two timer. You don't know him, you don't know me, you're not the one sharing secrets about your lives at three in the morning at the kitchen table. We know each other inside and out. I've never met anyone more honest or faithful in my life.

Lie #10 It's not normal and won't work out.
Climb it, Tarzan. We're out to prove the world wrong.

Peace out!

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